>gettin hot and heavy w/ a girl
>she then tells me to talk dirty
>tell her that 10% of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions are stored in dirt
>she’s still turned on and now she knows a little more about mother earth
>copulate and educate
Sirius Black high-fiving Lily Evans every time she raises her hand in class.
Sirius asking James to high five her when he is too sick to come to class.
Remus Lupin doing it with a sigh and an immediate apology when neither Sirius or James is available.
Peter being overly enthusiastic about being asked to do it, and slapping Lily in the face by accident.
gf: babe come over
me (a lawnmower) : no i cant im cutting the grass and you live in the sky
gf: my parents are out
at what point does a joke die because i think we’ve beaten this horse into the ground with an aluminum bat
yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me